Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Independence: Not Negotiable

MEMORIZE: “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel” (1 Tim. 5:8)



READ: 1 Timothy 5:7-8



Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). The one who wants to get married must be independent of his or her parents. Marriage is about maturity. It suggests that the man and woman going into it are saying, “Daddy, mummy, you have been taking decisions for us since we were born. But now, we have come of age and are capable of taking decisions for ourselves”. Some men marry and bring their spouse into the family house. This is wrong. That woman will soon become the slave of the family. No matter how close the family house is, when married, keep your distance from it, and take an independent apartment for you and your spouse.



You will visit the family house periodically. When the child takes ill, even before their husband knows, some women would have told their mothers. Stop bothering your parents! Let them have peace as they get advanced in age.



If the above scripture is anything to go by, it is that it presents a foundational but hard truth: The extent to which the couple are mentally, physically and financially detached from their parents is the extent to which they can cleave together. This tells us therefore that over zealous parents who always poke their nose in the homes of their children, may be the stumbling block to a vibrant and fruitful home. If you are concerned about your children, take it to God regularly in prayer. If you need to take a step, He will guide you.



How will you feel if, when we get to Heaven, the Lord tells you that you were responsible for the failure of your son or daughter’s marriage? Do not stand in their way! Do not take sides. Be fair as much as possible but take more time to pray. Even when you have an idea of their desired solution, pray about it and if the Lord gives you the go-ahead to convey it to them, inform the two of them. Let it be a suggestion, not a command. After all, they will be held responsible for their actions and decisions as adults. The only issue you can be firm about is what the Bible says on a given situation. You can lovingly refer them to such passages.


ACTION POINT:
Ask that every negative influence over your children and wards will wane. Pray that Christ will be fully formed in their hearts... Pastor Adeboye

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